Lovebug
by Hikari Midori-chan
Summary: Shino, Naruto, and Sakura are sent on a mission to retrieve bugs that make people fall in love with each other. There's only one problem: the bugs are running loose within the village! Complete!
1. Aimushi

Yay! I new story! Its gonna totally ruin my schedule! Hooray! Ahem, anyway, this is something I cooked up that will be done in less than ten chapters if everything goes as planned! It's mainly just humor, not so much romance. I guess the title sort of messes it up though. I'm not looking for good pairings, mainly just pairings that I think would be comical to poke fun at. I actually don't care much for good pairings, since I hardly support any.

Anyway, I hope you like it everyone! Or at least...the people who are reading it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

"We have to do _what_?"

"You heard me," Tsunade said, her chin resting on her hands and her eyes closed. "You must go find a few certain insects in the woods called the Aimushi. Tomorrow, a couple will come to claim them."

"What's Aimushi?" Naruto asked.

"The Aimushi are insects that literally makes people fall in love with each other for about a day," Shino said. "The female bug makes men fall for women and the male makes women fall for men. When someone gets bit, the first person they see they fall in love with according to the gender that bit them."

"Why would we need to find such a bug?" Sakura asked. _Maybe I could swipe a female one while we're there! Yeah…Sasuke will be mine! _

"It isn't important," Tsunade said. "You shouldn't stick your noses into other peoples' business. Shino, you will be the leader of this mission."

"But shouldn't we know _why _we're looking for it?" Naruto urged.

"Fine, fine," Tsunade said. A couple wants their daughter to marry a wealthy man by tomorrow. The man's parents approve also but their son does not. The son and daughter are very reluctant to marry someone whom they don't know. The parents are sure their children would love each other if they had time to talk to each other, but they can't get them to cooperate."

"That's why they want the Aimushi," Shino finished. "So the marriage would go without a struggle."

"That's right."

"But isn't that wrong?" Sakura said, starting to get second thoughts about using the bug on Sasuke. "Forcing people to love, I mean."

"I see your concern," Tsunade said. "And that's why I didn't want to tell you, but usually after two people have fallen in love with each other they start to realize how much they like each other when the effects wear off."

"Oh." Sakura's second thoughts were crushed by third thoughts of Sasuke realizing that he loved Sakura.

"_Oh Sakura, I've finally realized how much I love you," Sasuke said._

"_I've known for so long that I've loved you, but I was afraid that you didn't feel the same," Sakura said._

"_Well, nothing's getting in the way of our relationship ever again," Sasuke said. "Especially that pig, Ino."_

"Hello? Sakura-chan! We're going now!"

"Huh, what?" Oh, right!"

"So what do they look like anyway?" Naruto asked.

"The females have a pink spot on their wings and have a certain sparkle to them. The males have a red one and shine brightly in sun or darkness. We need both to complete the mission," Shino said.

"Tsunade-sama said that they'd be in a cave around here," Sakura said, checking her map.

"What're they doing here anyway? I've been around here all the time and I've never seen any pink and red bugs!"

"They only come around here for mating season, now," Shino explained.

"There's the cave!" Sakura exclaimed, pointing ahead of them. Her face fell. "Wow…that's small…"

"A pretty short person would be able to fit through here," Shino said, examining the opening. He and Sakura turned to Naruto.

"I'm not that short!"

"Go in, Naruto. I am the leader of this mission, and—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But I get full credit for this mission!" Naruto stumbled into the cave and immediately saw a shine of bugs on the walls. A sweet chirping sound filled the air. The bugs decorated the walls. They were beautiful.

Naruto snatched two bugs, one with a red spot and one with a pink one, and dropped them in the jar. He ran out of the cave after squeezing through the hole again. "Hey, hey! I got it! I got—ah!" He tripped over a large tree root and fell flat on his face in mud, splattering mud all over Shino and Sakura.

"NARUTO!" _I'm gonna kill you, you klutz!_

Shino caught the jar without much effort. He looked down at his muddy pants. "Clumsy idiot…"

"What did you say?" Naruto demanded, wiping mud off his face. "Why don't you try saying that to my face?"

Shino leaned down, three inches from Naruto's face and said clearly, "Clumsy idiot."

"Oh yeah? Well—"

"Shut up, Naruto, and let's just go home so I can take a shower!" Sakura ordered. She started stomping off back towards the village.

"O-Okay, Sakura-chan. Whatever you say," Naruto said, getting up.

"Tsunade-sama says that one of us has to take care of those bugs," Sakura said. "Who is it gonna be?"

"Shino, duh," Naruto said.

"No," Shino said.

"What?"

"I can't take care of them. Even though they're closely related to the insects I control and my clan has a relationship with most insects, these aren't one of them. They'll cause trouble."

"I can't believe it…" Naruto mumbled. "Fine, then I'll take them!"

"No way," Sakura said. "I don't trust your responsibility."

"Sakura-chan!"

"Sakura's right," Shino said. "So she'll take them." He handed the jar to her and walked away. "Don't lose them."

"She won't!" Naruto shouted. Then he turned around and pouted. "Man, I hate that guy."

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, Naruto," Sakura said, turning and sprinting off.

"Wait! Wanna go hang out or train or something?" Naruto called.

"Maybe later!"

She found herself in the park and sat on a bench. She checked to make sure there wasn't anyone around and looked into the jar. The bugs were oddly stunning and pretty. Sakura smiled. "Which did Shino say would make a boy fall in love with a girl? The pink-spotted, I think…yes, the female one. Heh." _Once Sasuke-kun gets back from his mission, I'll show him the female one. _

"Hello, Sakura," said a voice.

Sakura quickly hid the jar. "Ino-pig!"

Ino scowled at her comment. "I give you a friendly hello and you call me names?"

"Oh, sorry. Force of habit," Sakura said, smiling nervously. "What did you want?"

"Just to say hello. Oh, and has Sasuke-kun gotten back from his mission yet?"

Sakura frowned. "You only wanted to know if he was back so you could try to woo him over, huh? Well, for your information, he isn't!"

"Fine then," Ino said, turning away. "But I'll be the first to see him!"

"Hmph! In your dreams, Pig!"

"No, in reality, Billboard Brow!" Ino trudged away.

_I'll let her be the first one this time… _Sakura said. _Because after that, I'll be the one with Sasuke-kun's heart! _

_So Sakura's got some kind of lovebug, huh? Well, I'll get it no matter what! _Ino thought as she waited at the gate for Sasuke. Then she spotted him. "Oh Sasuke-kun! I've been waiting for you!"

_Oh crud, its Ino, _Sasuke thought. _Just ignore her, Sasuke. _

"Sasuke-kun, I bet your mission was a success, no? Of course, all your missions succeed! You must be tired!"

Sasuke walked past her but that didn't keep her from trailing along.

"Would you like to go out to eat something with me?" Ino asked.

"No," Sasuke said.

"Oh. I guess you wanted to eat alone today again…"

"That's right."

"Well then would you—"

"Sasuke-kun! There you are!"

_Great. My day just keeps getting better and better…_

Sakura clung to his arm and pulled him away from Ino. "I want to show you something, it's really cool!"

"Hey, Forehead, get away!" Ino shouted. "Sasuke-kun was talking to me!"

"No he wasn't!" Sakura exclaimed. She took out the jar. "Sasuke-kun, look at this!" She took out the female bug and dropped it on Sasuke's arm.

"What the—ow!" Sasuke was bitten by the bug. He flung his arm around and the bug flew away. "What did it do…oh…?" His eyelids drooped. _I feel weird…_

_Oh no, the bug! Oh well, I'll get Naruto to get it again tomorrow morning! No biggie! Now I just have to get Sasuke-kun to— _

"Give me that jar!" Ino exclaimed, reaching for the open jar.

"No, you pig! Get your own! Hey!" Ino made a grab for the jar, only making Sakura fall and drop it on the ground. "Oh no!" The second bug crawled away. "Where is it? Where?" She searched the ground.

"It's just a bug, big deal," Ino said. _Dang it! Where did Sakura get it? _"Here, I'll help."

"You look especially radiant today," Sasuke said suddenly.

"Me?" Sakura said, turning around quickly.

"Not you, her," Sasuke said, smiling at Ino.

"_Me_?" Ino exclaimed. She jumped up, completely forgetting about Sakura and her little bug. She had starry eyes.

"Yeah. I never noticed before Ino, but...you're gorgeous. Wanna go out?"

"Of course!" Ino hooked her arm with Sasuke's, smiled sweetly at Sakura, and walked off.

Sakura tore the ground. "INO-PIG!" She screamed.

LATER…

"Hm? What is this?" Lee said, picking up a sparkling red bug with a pink spot. "What a peculiar—ow!" Lee dropped the bug. _What…What is this feeling? _

"Lee! We're going to train now!" Tenten called.

"Huh?" Lee looked at Tenten, dazed. "Tenten…"

"Hey, Hinata, what do you think this is?" Kiba said, kneeling down.

"It looks like its some kind of bug…"

"Eh, even without Shino around there are still bugs…" Kiba said. "Ow! It bit…me…"

"Kiba-kun!" Hinata exclaimed.

Kiba looked up at Hinata with an odd look. He smiled faintly. "Wow…Hinata…you're beautiful…"

"Kiba…kun?" Hinata said uncertainly.

* * *

Hm...a little short, no? Hope it was long enough! R&R please! Construction criticism is welcome! And again, R&R! I absolutely hate it when people don't review so I don't get motivated to update...Well, until next time! 

-TTF


	2. Aimushi Again

Well here's the next chapter! I didn't expect to get so many reviews! I'm so happy I could just scream! But I won't. But I will say this: Thank you so much everybody!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _

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_

_I can't believe this is happening! I just CAN'T! _Sakura thought as she stalked Ino and Sasuke on their "date". _I mean, Sasuke-kun would never love Ino if it weren't for that stupid bug! Now I have to find it! But…I can't leave these two alone for a second! _She darted behind a tree as Ino and Sasuke sat down on a bench.

"Sasuke-kun, I feel like I'm in a dream!" Ino giggled, moving close to Sasuke.

"Then I wish this dream would never end," Sasuke said. (A/N: GAG)

"Oh Sasuke-kun!" Ino leaned in to kiss Sasuke.

TOK.

"Hey!" Ino felt her head. An acorn had bounced off her head and onto the ground. She stood up. "Who's there? Sasuke-kun, did you sense anything?"

"Nope. I was too busy staring into your beautiful eyes," Sasuke said dreamily.

"Er…let's go somewhere else," Ino said, taking his hand.

"You're holding me hand," Sasuke said, getting a goofy look on his face.

"Yeah…"

_Dang it! _Sakura thought. _Well, at least I stopped them from kissing! _

LOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUG

"Kiba-kun…y-you're standing a l-little t-too close…" Hinata said.

"Sorry, Hinata," Kiba said. "But…I just can't stay away from you."

"Um…" Hinata said. "Let's f-finish t-training then…" She got into her fighting position timidly.

Kiba laughed. "I couldn't hurt _you _Hinata!"

"Oh…" Hinata lowered her hands. "I-It's just training. I-I won't get hurt."

"I think we've trained enough. I don't want you to get tired."

"A-All right…" Hinata said. "I-I'll go home then…"

"I'll walk you!" Kiba exclaimed.

Akamaru barked.

"Quiet, Akamaru," Kiba said while gazing at Hinata which caused her to turn extremely red. "Well, let's go Hinata!"

"O-Okay…"

LOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUG

"Lee! Lee, I just Gentle-fisted you," Neji said, waving a hand in front of Lee's woozy-looking face. "You okay?"

Tenten instinctively grabbed Lee's shoulders and started shaking him quickly. "WAKE UP! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! LEE!"

"Tenten…" Lee said, giggling a little.

"Uh…" Tenten dropped him. That giggling sort of creeped her out.

"What's with him?" Neji said.

"I have no clue," Tenten said. "Maybe we should take him to Tsunade-sama or something…"

"I don't think it's serious," Neji said. "Let's just take him home and—ow!"

"What?" Tenten asked.

Neji touched his leg. "Nothing…just a bite." He looked up at Tenten and his eyes softened. "Tenten…"

"Hm?" She looked a little worried.

He touched her cheek. "You…"

Tenten turned red and took Neji's hand off her cheek. "What're you doing, Neji?"

"Yeah, _Neji_," Lee said, sounding genuinely annoyed. "What do you think you're doing?"

"That's none of your business, Bushy Brows," Neji shot back.

"What did you say, No-Pupils?"

"I said it's none of your business, Google-Eyes!"

"Long hair!"

"Bowl Cut!"

"Feminine!"  
"GASP! How dare you!"

"You wanna make something of it?"

As the boys started to tussle, Tenten just stood there, confused. "Lee…? Neji…?"

"Yes?" the two boys answered enthusiastically.

"Are you guys…_fighting_…over_ me_?"

"Who wouldn't?" they said.

"…"

LOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUG

Sakura had now followed Ino and Sasuke around half of the village. She crouched down behind the bushes and squinted.

"Hi Sakura-chan!"

"Eep!" Sakura looked behind her to see Naruto standing there waving like a fool.

"Get down!" She pulled Naruto down.

"Did you hear something, Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked, getting a little worried.

"Mm-mm," Sasuke shook his head.

"Sasuke, you seem a little off today," Ino said uncertainly. "Are you okay?"

"Mm-hm," Sasuke nodded, still staring lovingly at Ino. It was starting to get creepy.

"Sasuke-kun, I think there's something wrong with you," Ino said. "Maybe you should see Tsunade-sama or something…"

"What?" Sasuke said, still glazy-eyed.

"What are you doing, Sakura-chan?" Naruto whispered.

"Nothing," Sakura said. "Go away."

"What's Ino doing with Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing!"

"Then why are you stalking them?"

"I am not!" Sakura said.

"Are they _dating_?"

"Shut up, Naruto!"

"Sakura?" Ino looked over the bushes to see Sakura wringing Naruto's neck.

"Uh…heh, hi Ino," Sakura said, smiling innocently. "What're you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same question," Ino said, hands planted on hips. "What are you and Naruto doing here?"

"Er…taking a walk?" Sakura tried.

"While wringing his neck?" Ino said doubtfully.

"Who's there, Ino-chan?" Sasuke asked, peering over the bushes as well. "Sakura? Naruto?"

"Sasuke-kun! We need to take you home!" Sakura exclaimed. "You've been bitten by the aimushi and you need to get some rest!"

"Oh," Ino said.

"Weren't you keeping it, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked.

"Uh…Ino bumped me and they kind of…got lost…"

"WHAT? Aw man! Granny's gonna be mad!"

"Not if we find them," Sakura said.

"Where's the bug now?" Ino asked.

"I don't know," Sakura said. "I—ow!"

"There it is!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Oh no!" Sakura shouted, covering her eyes. "No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Er, that's all right, Sakura! We'll just guide you!" Ino said, holding onto Sakura's shoulders.

"What about the rest of our date, Ino-chan?" Sasuke asked woozily.

"Uh…" Ino said, "I never thought I'd say this to you, Sasuke-kun, but can we postpone?"

Sakura didn't choose to tell Ino that Sasuke would fall _out _of love with her after this day.

"Anything for you," Sasuke shrugged.

"Okay," Ino said. "Thank you. Sakura, stand still!"

"I can feel that thing crawling on me!" Sakura squealed.

"I'll get it!" Naruto declared.

"Don't touch me!" Sakura shouted.

"No, I can get it!"

"Stop!"

"I just—"

"STOP!"

"Gotcha!" Naruto said, grabbing the bug.

"Don't _kill _it!" Sakura said.

"I'm not!" Naruto said. "Ow! It bit me!"

"The female bug bit Naruto…" Sakura said. "That means…Naruto, cover your eyes!"

"Okay…" Naruto covered his eyes. "Why?"

"Don't you _ever _listen?" Sakura said, crossing her arms, her eyes closed. "Shino said that if the female bites a person then they'll fall in love with the first male they see!"

"WHAT!"

"The only guy around here is Sasuke-kun," Ino said. "Er…Sasuke…kun?"

"Mm?"

"Can you…not stand so close?"

"Sorry."

"Okay, we'll have to just take Sasuke-kun home and then find the other bug! If it hasn't been squished…" Sakura said.

"I know!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing a finger in the air, his eyes closed as well. "We can get Kiba to sniff out the bug!"

"That's…a pretty good idea," Sakura said. "But first to Sasuke's house."

"Okay," Ino and Naruto said.

"Sasuke-kun, can you guide Naruto?" Ino asked.

"Sure," Sasuke said. "Whatever you say."

"…Right."

A few minutes later, the group decided to stop. Well, Naruto decided to stop since he had been bumping into a few things due to Sasuke's lack of directions…

"STOP, STOP, STOP!"

"What is it, Naruto?" Ino and Sakura said at the same time.

"Sasuke's got some directional problems or something because that's the third post I've ran into!" Naruto exclaimed. His face _did _seem a little purple and beat.

"Sorry…" Ino said. "Sasuke-kun! Can you _please _stop staring at me?"

"You don't like me?" Sasuke asked, his heart falling.

"No, no! I _do_! Just…if you aren't yourself…it doesn't feel right," Ino said uneasily.

"Can we _please _keep going?" Sakura asked, hoping that Ino wouldn't get too close with Sasuke.

"Fine," Ino said, moving Sakura along while pulling Naruto by the shoulder as well. "If Sasuke-kun can't guide Naruto, then I'll have to do both."

"Okay," Sakura said. "Ino, how much further?"

"A few more blocks, I think," Ino said.

"Good. Now we just have to find Kiba…" Sakura said. "Um…where would we find _him_?"

"I dunno. Anywhere Shino or Hinata is I guess," Ino said. "Here's your house, Sasuke."

Sasuke stood on his doorstep and waited.

"What're you waiting for?" Ino asked.

"Don't I get a goodbye kiss?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh!" Ino said, blushing a little.

"We don't have time, come on!" Sakura said, grabbing Ino and pulling her away even though she had NO idea where she was going. "Sasuke-kun, can you lend us some pieces of cloth? I think we need blindfolds if we aren't going to see anyone…"

"Yeah, that would be good," Ino said.

"Okay," Sasuke said. He went inside his house then reemerged with two blindfolds.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun," Ino said, tying them onto Naruto and Sakura.

"Okay! Time to find Kiba!" Naruto said, running off. He didn't go far because he bumped into a pole five feet away. "Ow…"

* * *

The end of another chapter and the start of a new one! Sort of I guess...well, R&R please! Arigato!

-TTF


	3. Lunch and Finding Shino

Yes! An update! I'm very proud of myself. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews everyone! And I'll have you all know before you continue that I'm not planning on doing any _real _romance for this story...maybe some hints. But no real romance. Because I really suck at romance. Anyway, onward ho!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Naruto and Sakura walked around aimlessly while Ino tried to guide them. Kiba shouldn't have been _that _hard to find, right?

"This is so stupid," Naruto said. "We don't even know _where _to find Kiba!"

"Well…let's check the Shino's place first," Sakura said. "Because he's a boy and Kiba would probably hang out with Shino whether Shino likes it or not."

"That makes sense, I guess," Ino said.

Then they paused.

"Where's Shino's house?"

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"W-Why are we t-taking _this _w-way when th-the faster w-way is through the market?" Hinata asked.

"It's such a nice day out, don't you think?" Kiba asked. "And besides, Akamaru and I usually take a walk after practice and I thought that maybe you'd like to come, wouldn't you?"

Akamaru barked.

"Quiet, Akamaru!" Kiba hissed.

"Er…" Hinata said, not wanting to disappoint Kiba by DUMPING him. "Oh, I suppose…"

"That's great!" Kiba said happily.

LOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUG

"Guys, I _really _think we should get you to the hospital or something," Tenten said.

The two boys were standing on each side of Tenten, gazing at her while running into a pole or trashcan occasionally. But it's not like they cared.

"Have you eaten yet, Tenten?" Neji asked randomly.

"Uh, no, but—"

"Then I _must _take you out to eat!" Lee declared. He grabbed Tenten's hand. "Will you, please?"

"Uh…"

"Oh no you don't," Neji said, grabbing Tenten's other hand. "_I'm _taking her to lunch, Lee!"

"Nuh-uh!" Lee said, pulling Tenten towards him. "I asked her first and she's about to accept!"

"Lee, I—"

"Tenten! Won't you go out to eat with me?" Neji asked, pulling Tenten towards him.

"Neji—"

"No me!"

"No me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

What came next was a battle of Tug-a-Tenten between the two love-struck teenagers.

Tenten felt like her arms were going to fall off.

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"Do you want to eat something, Hinata?" Kiba asked.

"W-Well, I d-didn't eat lunch yet…" Hinata said thoughtfully.

"OKAY! I know this great restaurant!" Kiba exclaimed, taking Hinata's hand and making her blush. He ran her to the awesome restaurant he was talking about. In front of the restaurant they saw…NEJI AND LEE TRYING TO PULL TENTEN APART! THE HORROR! THE OOC HORROR!

"Oh my gosh!" Hinata exclaimed, running over to Tenten worriedly. "Wh-What's happening?"

"I, ow, have no, ow, idea!" Tenten said. "They just ow, started acting ow, weird and now ow, they're pulling me!"

"Oh dear…" She looked at Neji and Lee. And then backed away from Neji. "Um…"

"PLEASE HELP!" Tenten shouted.

"Oh, right!" Hinata said, looking around. "Um…um…"

Kiba stared at Hinata. He was angry. One, because her attention was stolen away from him again and two, because Hinata looked so distressed.

"Hinata, what's wrong?" he said.

"Oh…I-I have to help Tenten, b-but I don't know wh-what to do!" Hinata said.

"I'll help!" Kiba declared.

"Would you?"

"Of course!" He looked at Akamaru and said, "Akamaru?"

Akamaru barked.

They both nodded and…

CHOMP. CHOMP.

"OW!" Neji and Lee shouted, reeling back in pain. They fell on their dairy-airs and held their injured hands.

Tenten collapsed.

"Oh, um…" Hinata said, looking oddly at Kiba.

Kiba wiped his mouth. "It's a good thing Neji washes his hands."

Akamaru barked.

"Yeah, Lee does too."

"Why'd you do that?" Neji demanded.

"Are you in love with the beautiful Tenten too?" Lee exclaimed, slapping his cheeks.

"NO," Kiba said, looking disgusted.

"Good," Lee and Neji said in unison. Then they looked back at Tenten who had gotten up.

"TENTEN!"

"Argh!" Tenten shielded herself.

The boys dropped down to their knees and cupped their hands. "Please go out with me!"

"Um…" she regained her composure and looked at them with a pained face.

Hinata was shocked. She had never…NEVER seen Neji act this way. "Uh…m-maybe w-we…c-could all go…t-together?"

"What?" Neji and Lee said, glaring at each other.

"Good idea, Hinata!" Kiba said. He couldn't care less about Team Gai because _they _weren't in love with Hinata. But if they were, oh there'd be blood. "Let's go inside!"

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"Okay, here's Shino's house," Ino said.

"Finally," Sakura and Naruto said.

"Be quiet, will you?" Ino said. "I can just run you two off a cliff, you know."

"That's it," Naruto said, taking Ino's hand off his shoulder. "I'm gonna guide myself!"

"And how are you going to do that?" Sakura asked doubtfully.

"I'm a ninja, I've got a natural sense of things!"

"Right…"

Ino knocked on the door and a man that was most likely Shino's dad opened the door. He just stared at the threesome.

"Shino, we need your help to find Kiba!" Naruto said.

"Who are you?"

"C'mon, you know me!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing the man's jacket and making Ino and Sakura gasp. "SHINO! Stop playing dumb and help us find Kiba! We need to find him!"

"Er…Naruto…" Sakura whispered. "That's Mr. Aburame…not Shino."

"Oh…" Naruto slowly grinned sheepishly and let go of Mr. Aburame's jacket.

"Shino is not home," Mr. Aburame said disgustedly. "Good bye." He shut the door.

"Well _that _was rude of him," Naruto said.

"I would do the same if you did that to me," Ino said. "Where would Shino go, then?"

"…"

"Bug-collecting!" Sakura exclaimed, snapping her fingers. "Shino's probably in the fields!"

"That's right!" Ino exclaimed. "Let's go!" She reached for Naruto's shoulder, but he slapped her hand away.

"I can walk by myself!"

"Fine…"

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The group was silent. They obviously had never eaten together at all before and hardly _knew _each other.

"What do you want to eat, Tenten?" Lee asked, breaking the silence. "I'll pay for whatever you want!"

"Oh, well…" Tenten said, glancing at the menu.

"I doubt you have enough money," Neji said, crossing his arms. "I'll pay for Tenten."

"I just said I'll pay," Lee said.

"So?"

"Guys, I think I want to pay for myself…" Tenten said uncertainly.

"I'LL PAY!" they both shouted, slamming their hands on the table.

"O-Okay…"

"M-Maybe this wasn't a g-good idea…" Hinata stuttered quietly.

"No way, you're idea was great, Hinata," Kiba said. "So what do _you _want to eat?"

"I-I guess I'll have a n-number three…" Hinata said.

"Okay!" Kiba said. "I'll pay for you."

"I-I don't f-feel very comfortable if y-you have to pay…" Hinata said.

"It's no problem!" Kiba insisted.

"All right…"

Kiba grinned. He was happy because he got to eat lunch with Hinata AND pay for her! How great is that?

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By this time, Sakura and Ino had just given up and let Naruto be because he insisted that he could walk by himself. Even though he really couldn't.

"Okay, here are the fields," Ino said. "It's pretty big, so we'd better start looking for Shino."

"Okay," Sakura nodded. "Don't forget to keep an eye out for the other bug too."

"Of course."

Ino looked around. "Uh…where's Naruto?"

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Naruto had fallen down numerous times because of his loss of sight. His natural ninja senses didn't seem to be working. But he was determined to find Shino and fix Sakura's screw-up. But it wasn't Sakura's fault, he kept telling himself. It was Sasuke's.

He fell over again. "ARGH!"

"Watch where you're going," said a voice.

"Huh?" Naruto turned his head towards the voice. It sounded like Shikamaru. "Shikamaru?"

"That's me," Shikamaru said. "Why are you wearing a blindfold?"

"Don't take it off!" Naruto shouted.

"I wasn't about to," Shikamaru said.

"Oh. Well, I'm looking for Shino to find Kiba so he can find a bug that makes people fall in love with each other."

"And you plan on doing that…blindfolded?"

"Yeah," Naruto said. "Oh, and I got bitten by the girl bug so that means the first guy I see I'll fall in love with." Then he stuck out his tongue.

"Well that makes sense," Shikamaru said. "Carry on."

"Wait! Won't you help me?"

"What do I gain?"

"Shikamaru!" Naruto whined. "I _need _your help to see! Besides, do you really want a bug skittering around making people fall in love with other people?"

Shikamaru was silent. "It's troublesome, but loving someone against my will is even more troublesome. I'll help."

Shikamaru held onto Naruto's shoulder and directed him around the field. "There's Shino. I see him."

"SHINO!" Naruto shouted as he started running forward.

"Naruto, stop!" Shikamaru called. "Oh boy…"

Naruto tripped over a rock and was sent sailing. He skid on his stomach towards Shino and landed at his feet.

"Naruto?" Shino said, raising an eyebrow.

"Shino! You have to help!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Why are you running around with a blindfold on?" Shino asked, removing the blindfold. "Are you trying to kill yourself or something?"

"No, no, no, no!" Naruto shouted when he suddenly saw Shino. He blinked.

"…Why are you staring at me?"

"This is so troublesome…"

* * *

Haha, betcha didn't see THAT coming! lol

Yes again! I got Shikamaru into the mix! Shikamaru's always fun. Okay, so...R&R please! Thank you!

-TTF


	4. On One Condition

Okay, so I'm really behind, but...I got lost down the path of life...literally. I'll try to update sooner, but don't count on it. However, I WILL update. No matter WHAT.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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"Sakura…lost…the Aimushi…" Shino said angrily. At least…angrily for Shino.

"Yep," Naruto said, giggling girlishly. Which was kind of…scary. It was easy for Naruto to fess up to Shino because he loved him at the moment and all.

"This…is a problem. I don't like problems," Shino said.

Naruto laughed and put a hand on Shino's shoulder. "You're SO funny, Shino!"

Shino looked at him questioningly. Physical contact…burned. He carefully removed Naruto's hand from his shoulder and turned to Shikamaru. "What do we propose we do?"

"PROPOSE? ALREADY?" Naruto exclaimed, slapping his cheeks.

Shino looked at him for a moment. "No." Then back at Shikamaru.

"What do you want _me _to do about it?" Shikamaru asked.

"You're supposed to be the smart one," Shino said. "Surely you can think something up."

Shikamaru said. "Yeah…" Then he got into his thinking position while Shino stood by idly, his hand on Naruto's forehead as if he was trying to unobtrusively hint that he would like to be at arm's length of ANYONE.

"Okay," Shikamaru said, standing up. "We obviously won't be able to find the Aimushi without hawk-eyes. So I think we should get either Neji or Hinata to find the Aimushi."

"But what about Kiba and his nose?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"Obviously Kiba wouldn't be able to find the bug without its scent," Shikamaru said. "And you've lost Sakura and Ino who have the other bug in the jar, right?"

"Oh yeah."

"So we need to find either of the Hyuugas so they can use their Byakugan to find them. It doesn't take a genius to get that. And might I suggest we find Hinata. She'd be more willing to help us out."

"Either of them would work, just get this guy off my back," Shino said, pushing Naruto away.

"Don't be that way, Shino!"

LOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUGLOVEBUG

"That Naruto…always screwing around!" Sakura said angrily. _WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT LITTLE PUNK I'LL PULVERIZE HIM! _

"Keep in mind that _he _wasn't the one that let the bugs loose!" Ino said, just to annoy Sakura.

"And keep in mind that _you _were the one that jumped _me _which caused the bugs to be set loose," Sakura said.

"Touché…" Ino sighed.

Suddenly, Shino, Shikamaru, and Naruto ran by. Actually, Shino was running, Naruto was running _after _him, and Shikamaru was kind of…jogging…slightly.

"Shikamaru!" Ino shouted.

Shikamaru pretended to not hear her and sped up a little just so he didn't have to deal with her girlish whims.

"HEY!" Ino shouted.

"Ow!" Sakura exclaimed, covering her ears. "Ino! Why do you have to be so LOUD?"

"Shikamaru, Shino, and Naruto just came running by!" Ino explained. She grabbed Sakura's hand and pulled her along after the threesome that would absolutely NEVER be actually hanging together. As a threesome.

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By this time, Lee and Neji had attempted to buy Tenten the most tremendous gift in the entire world. Of course, being a young man of thirteen with little money and being a member of the not-so luxurious Branch House, the two were flat broke after paying for lunch.

"So where do you want to go, Tenten?" Neji asked.

"No where really…just…home…" Tenten said, wanting to get away from the madness.

"I'll walk you home!" the two boys declared.

"No that's okay…" Tenten said politely. "_Really_."

"I insist," Neji said.

"I insist a thousand times more than _you _insist!" Lee challenged.

"Oh yeah?"

"Don't start _that _again!" Tenten exclaimed, less politely. "Look, I like you both the same! As _teammates_! Nothing more! Okay?"

"What?" The boys were sad.

"Haha! You got _rejected_!" Kiba laughed in Neji and Lee's faces. They were too busy crying into their hands to notice though.

"U-Um…K-Kiba-kun…" Hinata stuttered.

"Yeah, Hinata?" Kiba asked, snapping his attention back to Hinata.

"W-Well…I-I…um…"

"You're _dumping _me?" Kiba exclaimed, looking horrified.

"Uh…" Hinata blushed. "I…am…that is…to say…"

"I get it," Kiba said, looking away. "I know when I'm not wanted."

"W-What?" Hinata stuttered. "I-I d-didn't m-mean—"

"Kiba, don't be so paranoid, she didn't say anything yet," Tenten said, planting her hands on her hips. "Honestly…"

"So now you're talking to _him _now?" Neji said.

"What is _wrong _with you, Neji?" Tenten exclaimed. "Since when do you show feelings towards _anyone_?"

"Yeah, Neji!" Lee shouted. "If anyone is good at showing their emotions, it is I!"

"There's a first time for everything, you know!" Neji argued.

Just then, Shino jogged past them and behind Kiba and Hinata. "Hide me…"

"What?" the two said in unison.

"Shino!" Naruto called with anime heart eyes. "I know you're there!"

Shino sighed and stepped into view.

"_There _you are! You know, I didn't really know where you were, I was just trying to get you out from hiding and it worked!" Naruto cheered.

Shino raised an eyebrow.

Shikamaru can running soon after. He collapsed and gasped for breath. "This…is _way _beyond troublesome now."

Everyone stared at him for a second, then at Naruto, then at Shino, then back at Naruto. AT THE SAME TIME. Then Hinata almost started blushing furiously and looking away. Everyone just had this LOOK on their faces that was like: O.O They were ALL wondering what was wrong with the world today.

"Hinata, we need your help," Shikamaru said, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" Hinata squeaked.

"Uh…" Shikamaru said. "We need you…to find a few insects for us. Pink and red ones, to be exact."

"Why is that?" Hinata asked timidly.

"Well, haven't you noticed that Kiba is acting strangely?" Shikamaru said. "Well, he was bitten by the love bug…literally. Those bugs are going around the village, making people fall in love with each other. We need to find them before they cause anymore damage around this already fanatical village."

"…" Hinata stared at Shikamaru. Then it all sunk in.

ZONK.

"Hinata!" Kiba exclaimed, catching Hinata when she fell over.

"And…now she's unconscious," Shikamaru said.

"Way to go, Shikamaru," Neji said.

Kiba inwardly shook his fist at Shikamaru, declaring war on him so he could avenge his dear sweet Hinata-chan.

Shikamaru sighed with a pained look on his face. "Neji, now we need _you _to do it. Because I doubt you'll faint now."

"I won't," Neji said, crossing his arms. "Faint, that is. I'll find your insects…on one condition."

"What's that?" Shikamaru said.

"I…want a kiss from Tenten," Neji said, blushing slightly.

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CLIFFIE! I don't know why I do that, I just do. Oh, and just to tell everyone again, I am NOT doing any REAL pairings, okay? Just a small reminder. This is just for fun at the expense of the Konoha ninja respectfully. R&R please!

-TTF


	5. The Plan and Humiliation

YAY! The line works again! Oh, and yay for updating! Sorry it took so long everyone, but look on the bright side! This chapter's WAY longer than my others! I'm very proud of this one.

Time seems to be getting shorter, especially when you have homework on every weekend. (WHO DOES THAT, ANYWAY?) But I've managed...barely. You all know that updating is harder, but I'd hate to not finish something as fun to write as this! I'm not sure when the madness will end, but I need to think up an awesome ending! (Yeah folks. I'm making it up as I go.) But it's fine.

Anyway, this chappie is REALLY OOC and REALLY random, but you guys like that, right? ON WITH THE STORY! YAY!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

There was silence.

Lee dropped to his knees and shouted, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" in a Darth Vader-y kind of way.

Tenten laughed a little nervously. "I'm sorry, I thought y-you said that you wanted a k-kiss…from me…"

"I did," Neji said with soft eyes. "I love you, Tenten."

Tenten turned red. "Neji!" She slapped him.

Neji felt the red mark on his face and looked confused. "…Ow?"

Tenten was very angry. She cursed her bad luck. She cursed Neji for being so weak because of the bug. She cursed the bug. And she cursed the world. She cursed everything…including herself because she kind of _wanted _to have a first kiss with Neji.

"Tenten, you'll have to do it," Shikamaru said. "For the good of the world."

"But…" Tenten looked from Neji who looked like a child with big eyes waiting for his treat and to Lee who was a nervous wreck on the floor with BIGGER eyes that were ready to sprout tears. "Uh…" Then back at Kiba and Naruto. They were under the spell too, and she couldn't imagine how bad it would be to love someone you just didn't like. Shino and Hinata were obviously not having a very good time either. Well, at least Hinata. Nobody could really tell with Shino but it's pretty safe to guess that he wasn't enjoying Naruto's affection. "Oh…fine…"

Neji uncharacteristically punched the air shouting, "YES!" But of course, every boy can't help but do that when they're about to have their first kiss.

Tenten closed her eyes and waited for impact. _How do I do this…? _

Neji leaned forward.

"W-What...what happened?" came Hinata's faint voice.

"Hinata!" Tenten exclaimed, running over to her and Kiba. "You're awake!"

Neji, who was in the midst of leaning forward leaned to far. When he heard Tenten's voice and then footsteps going _away _from him, he opened his eyes. "Wha—argh!" He fell flat on his face.

Lee cheered. "Yosh!"

Neji got up and brushed himself off, red in the face. Red because of the pain of falling _on _his _face_ and red because he was incredibly angry…at Lee.

"Hinata, _please _don't collapse again. We need you to find the bugs, and I don't want to kiss Neji!" Tenten exclaimed.

"Kiss…_Neji_," Hinata whispered with an even more shocked look on her face.

"DON'T FAINT!" Tenten shrieked.

Hinata gasped and cowered. "A-All right…"

Tenten sighed in relief.

Neji pouted.

Lee punched the air.

"Byakugan!" Hinata said, activating her bloodline limit. She looked around. "Um…how many did you say there was?"

"Two. Why?" Shino said.

"I-I…think there's a problem…"

"Problem?" Shikamaru groaned. "That's troublesome. What is it?"

"W-Well…" Hinata stuttered. "It seems as though…there are more than two Aimushi in the village…right now I can only see about…thirty…but—"

"Thirty!" Tenten exclaimed, clenching her head. "Argh! This is too much!"

"The female and male must have had...an affair. It _is _mating season," Shino said thoughtfully.

"But that's impossible!" Naruto exclaimed. "Didn't Sakura-cha—I mean, Sakura have the female one?"

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"This is hopeless! We can't find Naruto!" Ino cried. "We lost them _again_!"

"One little bug can cause so much trouble…" Sakura sighed. Then she gasped. "Argh! The bug! What happened to the bug!" She felt around in her pockets and found nothing.

"Way to lose the bug, Miss Forehead."

"Shut up, Ino-pig."

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"What'rewegonnadowhat'rewegonnadowhat'rewegonnado?" Naruto screamed hopelessly.

"Shut up already!" Tenten shouted exasperatedly.

Neji Gentle-fisted Naruto against a tree. "You're disturbing Tenten."

"Aw…" Lee said, lowering his fist. "I was about to do that…"

"Too slow."

"Do you want to _race _me?" Lee demanded.

"Stop!" Tenten ordered. "If you guys are gonna act like idiots over this whole Aimushi episode, listen to what I say! Now don't talk!"

The two boys nodded timidly.

"Good!" Tenten said. "Now I think we're getting somewhere."

"But there's still the problem with the bugs," Shikamaru said.

"We've just gotta catch 'em all!" Naruto declared.

Everyone shivered as they thought of Pokemon.

"And how do you think you're gonna do that?" Kiba asked doubtfully.

"Okay, I've got it," Naruto said. "We get a really big net…"

"Like that's gonna work, Naruto," Tenten said.

"It will!" Naruto insisted.

"It won't," Shikamaru said indifferently.

"Don't _you _think it'll work, Shino?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"No."

"Oh look!" came a voice. "There's everyone!"

Ino had dragged Sakura over towards the massive group. "Guys! Sakura lost the Aimushi…again!"

"I did not!" Sakura shouted.

"Sakura, why did you do that?" Naruto sighed.

"Oh…Naruto, when I get my hands on you--!" Sakura groped around for Naruto's head to smash but she was at a disadvantage.

"Did he just call you…_not _Sakura-chan?" Ino asked, confused.

"Don't ask," Shikamaru said. "It's troublesome to answer."

"I won't," Ino said.

"What's happened?" Sakura asked.

"Long story short: there are tons of lovebugs crawling around the village in random places and we don't know what to do about it," Tenten explained. "And a few of us are infatuated with other people."

"Like who?" Ino asked.

"Naruto's infatuated with Shino, Neji and Lee are infatuated with me, and Kiba's infatuated with Hinata."

Ino stared at Tenten and Sakura stared at where she _thought _Tenten was.

"I'm sorry. You lost me after 'Naruto's infatuated with Shino'," Sakura said.

"So there are millions of bugs…around Konoha…making people fall in love with each other…" Ino said thoughtfully. "What're we supposed to do about it?"

"Shino," Shikamaru said. "What do the bugs like to eat?"

"Anything sweet," Shino said. "You have a plan?"

"I do," Shikamaru nodded.

A few minutes later…

_Knock. Knock. _

Chouji opened his front door and saw people. "Oh, hey Shikamaru, Ino! And…everybody else…except Sasuke! What're _you _all doing here?"

"Chouji, we need your help," Shikamaru said.

"My help?" Chouji repeated, confused.

"Yeah," Shikamaru said. "How many sweet foods do you have?"

Chouji laughed. "Is that a trick question?"

Another few minutes later…

"Okay, here's the plan," Shikamaru said. "We lay all these sweet foods out in a select destination that will draw the Aimushi out to where the food is. Once they're all in one place, we'll be able to catch them."

"Yeah, how?" Naruto asked. "Do you have a big jar or something?"

"No. Just leave the rest to me," Shikamaru said. "Let's just get this over with. Today."

Deep in the forest, two figures in black and red cloaks loomed.

"Are you sure you want to do this _now_, Itachi?"

"Of course. What better time to do it? My brother will be very surprised to see me, I'm sure. Besides…he has something of mine…"

In the blink of an eye, the two disappeared, heading towards the unsuspecting village of Konohagakure.

"B-B-B-But Shikamaru!" Chouji wailed. "I-I-I _need _those! _How _could you do this to m-me?"

"Sorry Chouji," Shikamaru said. "But sacrifices are made in this cruel, troublesome world."

Chouji sniffed loudly. "All right…" Then he clenched his fist and fire burned in his passionate eyes. "I will be strong!"

"That is the spirit!" Lee cheered.

"Sh! There's a reason why we're hiding!" Ino hissed.

"Where?" Sakura asked, for she was still blindfolded.

Ino, Sakura, Tenten, Neji, and Lee were waiting for the Aimushi to show up in the trees. Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Chouji were on the ground. Shino had…

"A gigantic jar. I _knew _they would have one _somewhere _in this crazy village of ours!" Naruto laughed.

"I still don't believe it," Shino sighed.

"Oh Shino!" Naruto said tearfully.

"Don't touch me."

"Be quiet," Shikamaru said. "I hear something."

The Konoha nin heard munching sounds.

Shikamaru quickly made a hand seal. "Kagemane no Jutsu."

His shadow extended from behind the bush and grabbed something. "I've got something." The group peeked over the bush and Shikamaru groaned. "Oops."

"I _told _you not to _never _touch suspicious food in the deep depths of the woods," Itachi said, annoyed.

"Well!" Kisame said. "I was hungry!" It seemed as though he was in the midst of reaching for the sweets on the ground when Shikamaru's shadow had stopped him.

"Then you should've eaten when we stopped by the sushi place," Itachi said.

"Do you _know _what sushi is made of?" Kisame said.

"Fish?" Itachi said.

Kisame gasped. He would've clutched his heart in terror, but Shikamaru's jutsu prevented that. "YES!"

"Big deal," Itachi said. "I suggest we do something of more significance. Like find out who trapped us with the Kagemane no Jutsu. And besides, I thought sharks _ate _fish." He looked around in search of a shadow.

"How dare you say that!" Kisame exclaimed. "Fish are friends, not food."

In the trees...

"Aw man…" Ino whispered.

"What?" Sakura asked.

"Shikamaru got someone else," Tenten explained. "He got Itachi. And Kisame."

"Why are you looking at Itachi like that, Tenten?" Lee asked worriedly.

"Looking at Itachi like what?" Tenten said, confused.

"Stop looking at people like that!" Neji exclaimed, shielding Tenten's eyes.

"Hey!"

"Be quiet! Stop!" Ino hissed, letting go of Sakura and pushing Neji and Lee away from Tenten.

"Whoa! Whoa! Ino! Ino!" Sakura screamed.

"Sakura!" Ino grabbed onto Sakura's hair.

"OWWWIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Sakura screamed. "Let go! Let go! Let go!"

"Sorry!" Ino apologized as she let go.

"Argh! Don't let go! Don't let go! Don't let GO!" Sakura shrieked.

"Oh!" Ino desperately grabbed for something. She grabbed the back of the blindfold, loosening it.

Sakura fell flat on her face in front of Itachi and Kisame who had question marks above their heads. They were _wondering _what all that noise was about, but now they knew.

"Who the heck are you?" Itachi said.

"Uh…huh?" Sakura groaned as she held her head and looked up. Her pupils turned small and she screamed. "AIEEEEEEAIEEEEEEAAAAAH!"

Shikamaru put a finger in his ear. "Why a girls…so loud?"

"Shouldn't we…shouldn't we help her?" Chouji asked.

"I'm already using up my chakra just standing here, what more do you want?" Shikamaru asked.

"Oh. Right."

"Then what are we gonna do?" Naruto asked. "Our plan's completely ruined!"

"What we need is for someone to go out there and do something," Shino said.

Chouji and Naruto looked at each other.

Before Itachi and Kisame could attempt to kill Sakura while under the Kagemane no Jutsu, Shino stumbled out into the open.

"Forgive me!" Naruto cried.

"I'll get Sasuke!" Chouji declared quietly so only Naruto and Shikamaru could hear them.

"Quick," Shikamaru said. "My…chakra is hurting."

"That's a really lame excuse, Shikamaru," Naruto said.

"Who's there?" Kisame demanded, for he and Itachi were standing with their backs to Shino.

Shino cleared his throat and put his hand over his mouth. "Itachi! I will kill you, you worthless scum!" he said. His voice sounded exactly like Sasuke's.

Everyone's eyes widened. Except for Sakura's. Sakura's eyes were in the shape of big, fluffy, pink hearts.

"Oh…Itachi-kun, you're even _hotter _than Sasuke!" Sakura giggled, getting up and brushing herself off.

Itachi looked at her in horror. He had this expression on his face that was like: WTF.

"Didn't you hear me?" Shino/Sasuke demanded. "Fight me!"

"Uh…" Itachi said, eyeing Sakura.

"W-We just came here to retrieve Itachi's—"

"AHA!" Sasuke jumped into view. "Ino! Where are you? What danger are you in?" He ran past Itachi and Kisame while looking around.

Ino slapped her forehead.

"Ino, you have to get him to fight Itachi!" Tenten urged.

"And die? No way!" Ino exclaimed.

"But he's under the Kagemane no Jutsu! Do it quick before Shikamaru runs out of chakra!"

"Oh…right!" Ino exclaimed. She cupped her hands around her mouth. "Sasuke-kun! Help me! Itachi and Kisame have trapped me!"

"Ino?" Sasuke looked up. "Ino!"

Then he turned around with fiery eyes to face Itachi and Kisame. "YOU TWO!"

Itachi and Kisame gulped.

Sakura giggled. "Itachi-kun, you look so cute when you're nervous!"

"Neji! Lee! You two should go help Sasuke before he goes crazy!" Tenten ordered.

"Yes, Tenten!" Neji and Lee shouted, saluting her and jumping down.

"Oh…crap…" Itachi said.

"We're gonna die! And all we did was come back to get your—" Kisame wept.

"Itachi-kun? Die? Not on my watch!" Sakura shouted, jumping up and shielding Itachi with her arms. "Don't touch my Itachi-kun!"

"Move it, Sakura!" the boys commanded.

"NEVER!" Sakura declared.

"I've never liked you, Sakura!" Sasuke shouted dramatically as he pointed a finger at her. "And if I have to get through you to protect my beloved, I will!"

"Me too!" Neji and Lee said.

"Ino is the prettiest girl in the world! Above that she's kind, and a great ninja, and…" Sasuke turned into a freakishly happy chibi and started counting off the best things about Ino, some of them not even being true. "...And _that's _why I have to protect her!"

"Is _this _what my little brother has resorted to in the past time I've been gone?" Itachi wondered.

"Let's just get this started!" Lee exclaimed, extremely pumped. "I'm sorry, Sakura, but I will have to run you over!"

Sakura squeaked.

"No, I want to do this myself!" Sasuke stated as he held his arms out in front of Neji and Lee.

"Can we _please _move it along, I'm running out of chakra!" Shikamaru complained.

"What?" Neji said. "You can't possibly do this yourself. We all heard what happens when you challenge your brother."

"I _know_," Sasuke said as a vein throbbed in his forehead. "But just a few days ago, I discovered…A WEAKNESS!"

Everyone gasped.

Itachi chuckled. "You think _I _have a weakness?"

"Oh, I don't think. I _know_," Sasuke said. He pulled something from his back and waved it in Itachi's face. It was…! A teddy bear.

"Mr. Teddy!" Itachi gasped.

Mr. Teddy was a bear with a black shirt, complete with the Uchiha fan on the back. It even had Sharingan eyes to match.

"Bwahahaha!" Sasuke cackled. "Bow down to me, brother! I have defeated you!"

"Itachi-kun, no!" Sakura cried.

"Okay, one, you haven't defeated me yet. And two, I wouldn't bow down even if your little friend here was holding me by my shadow," Itachi said simply.

"Shikamaru!" Sasuke shouted. "You ruined my plan! Some genius _you _are!"

Shikamaru stared at him. "…No," was all he could muster.

"Give Mr. Teddy back!" Itachi ordered. "Or I'll kill you all!"

"You can't do that," Lee said. "Shikamaru has you in a shadow bind."

"Yes, but he's running out of chakra soon," Itachi said.

"Oh. Right," said everyone.

"I still have to defeat you!" Sasuke exclaimed. He jumped into the air and spat fire at Itachi. "Katon! Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"

Fire rained everywhere…except on Itachi and Kisame.

"Blast it, I missed…" Sasuke muttered.

"Oh please, that never works," Itachi said.

"It works eighty percent of the time!" Sasuke said back.

"I'm getting tired of this," Tenten said as she jumped down from the tree.

"What're you doing, Tenten?" Ino asked.

"Ending this thing once and for all!" Tenten said. She grabbed Mr. Teddy out of Sasuke's hands.

"Hey! I need that!" Sasuke said.

"Be quiet, Sasuke," Tenten said. She held up Mr. Teddy in front of Itachi's face. "You want this?"

"Yes," Itachi said.

Then she flung Mr. Teddy as far as she could which is saying something since she flings weapons all the time and all. "Well go get it!"

Shikamaru's shadow receded and Itachi and Kisame ran off after the bear.

"We're coming Mr. Teddy!" Itachi and Kisame hollered in the distance.

"No! They got away!" Sasuke cried. He turned to Tenten. "You! You let them get away!"

"Well _you're _too delirious to fight him anyway!" Tenten pointed out.

"But you lost my secret weapon!"

"Cry me a river, I just want this day to end!"

"I wouldn't hit a girl, but you're coming awfully close to my burning point!" Sasuke warned.

"Hey!" Neji and Lee shouted, jumping in front of Sasuke. "You have to answer to me before you hurt my Tenten! Your Tenten? MY TENTEN!"

The love struck boys start having a little slappy-fight while the others tried to think up another way of getting to the Aimushi.

"Believe it or not, Kisame ate all the food…" Shikamaru sighed. "Great. Just great."

"I have an idea!" Naruto announced.

Everyone waited for him to talk.

"Okay, we just take this giant can of bug spray…"

"ENOUGH WITH THAT!" Sakura and Ino screamed, knocking Naruto on the head.

"I don't have time for this!" Sakura declared. "I must find my dear Itachi-kun!"

"He's gone, too bad!" Ino said. "We've got more important things!"

"More important than _love_?" Sakura gasped, clutching her heart.

"Yes!" Ino exclaimed. "Usually I would think that nothing is more important, but today I'll make an exception because I'm getting awfully annoyed right now!"

"YEAH!" cheered everyone else.

* * *

Hehe...betcha didn't see THAT coming either. I just _had _to put in Itachi and Kisame, even though I made them like...really stupid...who knows, Kisame might as well be stupid. And we couldn't just leave Chouji out of the fun! Anywho, I'll try to update REAL soon. And BTW, Shinobis Choice Awards and Konoha Middle School are on their way! 

-TTF


	6. The End

WHOOO! Last chappie, Halleluja! It's been fun but it's time to move on! Sorry for the long wait...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

"What time is it?" Shikamaru asked.

Everyone looked up at the sky. "Six-thirty."

"All right," Shikamaru said. "A few more hours until the day's over and everyone is back to normal. I think it would be best if we all go home, shut our doors and windows, cover any cracks, and just go to sleep."

"At six-thirty?" Ino said doubtfully. "Not a chance."

"Fine…It was worth a shot…" Shikamaru sighed.

"Then what are we going to do?" Tenten asked.

Shikamaru stood there for a moment. "I…have no idea."

Everyone gasped.

"Hey, I don't spend the better hours of the day studying crazy love bugs," Shikamaru said.

"Then we're doomed…" Ino said.

Meanwhile…

"Shizune?"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

"What…what is that _thing _on my desk?"

"Er…it seems to be…the Aimushi that Shino, Sakura, and Naruto brought in."

"I thought so."

Tsunade pinched the bug off the table and dropped it into a jar that Shizune had helpfully fetched.

She slammed her fist on the table, cracking it down the middle. "NARUTO!"

Naruto turned his head. "Huh…?"

"What was that?" Sakura said worriedly.

"Sounded like Tsunade-sama…with her angry voice," Tenten said.

"I didn't do anything, why's Granny getting all testy?" Naruto said.

"Don't call her that! Be respectful!" Tenten scolded.

Lee and Neji punched Naruto in the face. AT THE SAME TIME.

"OW!" Now Naruto had two black eyes.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata said worriedly.

"Gr…" Kiba clenched his fists.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed.

"I'm hungry…" Chouji declared.

"I'm Shino," Shino said.

"Why am I just standing here?" Sakura said suddenly.

"…?" said everyone.

"I should be going out and finding my Itachi-kun!"

"My evil brother!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Sakura said.

"You can't do that," Ino said. "He ran off and you have no idea where he went."

"Not to mention we're trying to find something _else_," Tenten said.

"And Tsunade-baachan's gonna kill me!" Naruto wailed. "Again!"

"I've had enough of this," Shikamaru sighed, falling down onto his back and staring up at the sky. "I'm not affected by any of this, why am I helping? It's troublesome."

"Shikamaru's right…" Chouji said, sitting down and popping open a bag of chips. "Sorry, guys."

"No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen!" Ino complained.

"Well it did," Neji said, crossing his arms. "And we can't do anything to stop it."

"That is not the attitude to have, my rival for Tenten's love!" Lee exclaimed, sounding a bit like his mentor.

"Shut up, Lee."

"NO! It is _you _who should shut up!"

"You shut up."

"You shut up."

"Shut up."

"SHUT UP!"

"Shut up."

"Shut up, both of you!" Tenten shouted irritably.

"Is it never quiet around here?" Shikamaru grumbled.

"Itachi-kun! Wherever have you gone! No, wait! Don't answer! My love will lead you to—"

"Put a sock in it, Sakura, we don't want to hear it!" Ino shouted.

Sakura gasped. "Heartless pig!"

"Ugly forehead girl!"

"Be quiet," Shino ordered. "The Aimushi are mostly attracted to people who argue. If you—"

"PIG!"

"FOREHEAD!"

"PIG!"

"FOREHEAD!"

Suddenly, the ground shook and the trees parted chaotically. Pieces of the earth flew through the air and a dust cloud formed.

"Everybody get down!" Sasuke and Neji shouted, their personalities of taking charge taking over.

"It's an attack!" Ino shrieked.

Everyone covered themselves as best as they could under the circumstances and got ready for a grueling battle.

As the dust cleared, a figure stood in the distance. A petite but strong woman with flowing blond hair and overly matured whoppers stood in the middle of the destruction.

"Tsunade-sama!" everyone exclaimed in disbelief.

"WHAT are you kids doing?" Tsunade shouted, suddenly turning into a strict motherly figure of the twelve.

"I can hear your arguing from the village!" Tsunade roared. "Of course, I was looking for you all before, so you just made it easier! NARUTO! SAKURA! SHINO! Up front NOW!"

The mentioned three slowly made their way towards the angry woman.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?" the three said quite unenthusiastically.

"WHO let loose THIS?" Tsunade said, holding up the jar with the single Aimushi in it.

Shino and Naruto pointed at Sakura who glared coldly back at them.

"Sakura?" Tsunade said, her eyebrow rising. "You did it?"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama. I'm terribly sorry, really."

"Well, what's happened then?" Tsunade asked. "Explain everything."

Everyone looked at each other and braced themselves for a long, painful journey back in time.

AN HOUR LATER…

"And _that's _how it happened," Sakura finished.

Tsunade was beyond angry. "You mean to tell me…that my village is infested with these cupid beetles?"

"Yes…" said everyone meekly.

Tsunade roared and slammed her foot in the ground, creating another crater.

Everyone jumped out of the way.

CRASH!

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temples stressfully. "Okay, okay. How do we fix this?"

"We've been trying to do that from the very beginning," Tenten said. "But none of our plans have worked!"

"I don't remember you guys brainstorming anything," Shikamaru said.

"You're the Hokage-sama, shouldn't you be able to think of something?" Neji said.

Tsunade shot him an annoyed glance and waited for a second. "Yes, I have a plan. Shino, Sakura, and Naruto, you'll come with me. We'll be getting rid of this menace once and for all, and since it was _your _responsibilities to keep track of these bugs, it is _you _who will play the most important role."

Sakura and Naruto exchanged nervous looks, but obeyed the Hokage as did Shino.

10:00 PM…

The sun had fallen behind the mountains and out of sight many hours ago as the group of ninja put their plan into action. It was dark, and the only things offering light were the dim stars and the full moon. By now, the Aimushi had reached and bitten many a villager and most of the villagers were either bothering someone else about their eternal love or out late on a date. However, the genin, Shikamaru, and Tsunade didn't let that bother them…much.

"We're in position, Tsunade-sama," Tenten whispered into the radio. Neji and Lee were with her, standing at the far end of the village, west.

"We are too," Hinata said from the _other _side of the village with Kiba and Sasuke, east.

"So are we," Shikamaru said uninterestedly with his team north of the village.

"Good," Tsunade said from the south with Shizune and Tonton. "Now remember the jutsu I showed you. You've all practiced for a few hours, but it may not be enough since its still new. Do your best and try not to screw up."

"Thanks for the encouragement," Shikamaru muttered.

"I heard that, Shikamaru," Tsunade said sharply. "All right, now. NARUTO! SAKURA! SHINO! Commence with phase one!"

Naruto, Sakura, and Shino were at the top of a roof at the heart of the village. They were all nervous, whether they chose to show it or not. Tsunade had told them that they played the most important role in the plan, and if they didn't do their part right she'd nail them into the ground with her bare hands. She called it an important role, they called it bait.

"So uh…" Naruto started. "Sakura-chan, wanna go out with me tonight?"

Sakura slapped Naruto forcefully. "NO NARUTO!" she shouted loudly. She glared at him and hissed, "Say it louder or they won't hear you, baka!"

"WHY NOT SAKURA?" Naruto hollered.

"BECAUSE I LOVE SASUKE!"

"FINE THEN! I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU MORE!"

The two turned to Shino who was standing there stoically with his hands in his pockets.

"Well?" they both said.

"It isn't working."

"Of _course _it isn't working!" Sakura shouted at Shino. "You're not doing anything!"

"You aren't convincing enough. And you're too obvious."

"Well maybe if _you _did something!"

"It isn't working."

Sakura groaned loudly.

"You know what?" Sakura said. "I _tried _to be nice to you, but if you won't do anything, this plan won't work!"

"We wouldn't need this plan if you didn't set the Aimushi free," Shino said simply.

Sakura's face turned red. "YOU—"

"Stop yelling at Shino!" Naruto ordered.

"But it's HIS fault!" Sakura shouted.

"How is that my fault?" Shino said.

"IT IS!"

Suddenly, the three heard a loud buzzing noise in the air. In seconds, several thousand bugs were flying at top speed towards the three at all directions. Flashes of pink and red lights flickered beautifully in the sky.

"NOW!" Tsunade shouted into the radio, almost deafening everyone's ear drums.

The ready ninja simultaneously made a hand seal and shouted, "Ninpou! Mahi no Jutsu!" (Ninja Art! Paralysis no Jutsu!)

Four beams shot from all sides of the village and crashed at once into the swarm of bugs. A flash of bright light similar to a firecracker burst and the Aimushi stopped.

Naruto, Sakura, and Shino stared up at the paralyzed bugs and in moments it was raining Aumushi everywhere.

"GAH!" Naruto shouted as a bug hit his head.

Sakura raised her arm above her head and exclaimed, "We did it!"

Shino pulled out an umbrella from his back and opened it. "So it would seem."

The other ninja appeared on the rooftop, congratulating each other.

"All right, kids!" Tsunade announced. "We aren't done yet! These Aimushi will be paralyzed for an hour or so. I want all of you to pick them up, place them in containers, and bring them back to the cave except for this one," she picked up an Aimushi and dropped it in the jar with the other. "I'll keep this and the other for our clients. Move along!"

She and Shizune disappeared.

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru yawned as he looked around the area filled with thousands upon thousands of bugs. "This'll take all night…"

THE NEXT DAY…

Naruto set free the last of the Aimushi into the cave where they belonged. "Get along, little buggies…"

The cave glittered with pink and red tints softly. The Konoha Twelve couldn't help but feel a little warm and fuzzy inside for the moment.

"I can't believe everything we've been through," Sakura said. "But I guess it all paid off. They're kind of beautiful."

"We'll I for one have had enough of these things," Sasuke said bad-temperedly. "I can't believe I was in love with Ino."

"You can't?" Ino said, crossing her arms. "Well I suppose it would be better if you came to me on your own, Sasuke-kun. I'll wait for you." Her eyes sparkled. "I think it was fate."

"I know fate," Neji said. "And this whole useless adventure wasn't fate."

"Isn't it funny how we fell in love with you, Tenten?" Lee laughed. "Huh Neji? Tenten? It must've been a blast!"

"No," Neji and Tenten said.

"I-I hope you're feeling better, Kiba-kun," Hinata said softly. "You weren't really yourself…"

"I'm fine, Hinata," Kiba said. "You okay? I must've freaked you out."

"I'm fine…"

And once again, Shino was ignored.

"This whole thing was troublesome and I think it would be better for us all to forget about it," Shikamaru said as he started walking.

"Amen to that!" Chouji exclaimed.

Everyone agreed.

"Hey Naruto," Sakura said as the group started their journey back home.

"What is it, Sakura?"

"What do you think will happen to the two Aimushi that Tsunade-sama has?"

"I dunno," Naruto shrugged. "They'll probably be set free after they bite the lovers."

"I still think its wrong…"

BACK AT THE VILLAGE…

Tsunade sat at her desk, her hands folded. Two people, a man and a woman stood before her desk, their hands held.

"You see, on our trip here, we've grown very close," the woman said.

"And we have no need for the Aimushi anymore!" the man said gleefully. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"So what you're saying is that you no longer need our assistance and the mission was invalid?"

"Yes," the two said.

A crash and an irritable scream were heard throughout the whole village and the two lovers were never the same.

END

* * *

If you liked this story, check out my others! Just go to my profile and enjoy! Thanks for sticking with me, everyone! You're all invited to a "It's The End Of The Story" party! WHOOOO! (throws confetti) Don't forget to R&R! Cookies for everyone! 

-TTF


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